You can fly!

After a close call with my fence-jumping toddler, I have found myself being more concerned with the location of my kids at all times. People are crazy these days and the last thing you ever want to be as a mom is a horror story plastered over the news while viewers gasp and speculate. The worst part about feeling this terror as a mom is that you never know when to truly back off and let them be.
How do you make the determination that they are ready to fly while calming your own fears as their protector? I can tell you that this is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Even though my four oldest are over 18, I still want to be that momma, that source of constancy that keeps them from ever feeling the pain of any sort. Letting go and letting them fly is the worst feeling in the world, at least to me.
I glance at the three remaining children under our roof, one of which is approaching tweenhood and the other two testing out their abilities on a regular basis. When I look at them, I know that one day I will have to let them fly on their own, just as their older siblings are now experiencing. My heart aches at the thought.
The things in my life that I felt were so important when I was a new mommy are fleeting and almost absurd to me now. I am not a perfect mom, I know this, but do you know what else I know? I know that there are no perfect moms. All of us are struggling with our own battles on a daily basis and each one seems just as critical in the war of life as the previous. We are so quick to allow others to put a label on our abilities are mothers, that we don’t realize the repercussions of each one.
Why? Knowing we all are in the midst of our own battles, do we allow such judgments to stick? Have you ever witnessed such injustices and yet stood by silently? What makes you so scared other than your own insecurities of your abilities being put on blast as well? I am ashamed to say that I haven’t built up other mothers in my life, even when they express in such urgency their needs for reassurance. But, not anymore. Not me. I’ve been on the receiving end of judgments for so long, I forgot that I truly have importance and purpose in my life.
It isn’t those other adults that I should be worried about, It is my miniature people in my life, no matter how old they are. How can I be the best mom that I can be when I allow scrutiny to deter my ability to build up my children and prepare them to fly?
If you get anything from this message, I hope that you learn that words kill. They kill abilities, confidences, and assurances. On the other end of the spectrum, words can move mountains. Imagine how much better our lives and our children’s lives would be enhanced if we spent a little more time shouting compliments and assurances towards our fellow mothers instead of hateful judgments. We are all just trying to fly, don’t clip someone’s wings to keep them on your level because you are too afraid to spread your own wings and fly.
I have a new-found appreciation for my own mother’s ability to let us fly and fail. I know that there is so much pain and emotion involved. Let’s use the breath of our compliments to be the wind beneath the wings of others. You can change the world, you can fly.

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