Looks can be deceiving

You know when you hear a kid having a tantrum, mom screaming at her kid or a mom looking half crazy all in the middle of a very public place??? What’s your first thought? Do you judge the kid thinking they are a spoiled brat and they need to be disciplined? Do you judge the mom thinking she shouldn’t yell at her kid, she should be more understanding of what the kid is going through or she just needs to leave because this is not the place for a tantrum? Do you think that mom needs to “GET IT TOGETHER”?

We all have had moments where we think we would handle a situation differently and even better in our mind than the person in the middle of it. However, we are only looking at the situation in that particular moment. We don’t know what these people are dealing with. All we see is the moment that may inconvenience or disturb us and want to criticize their life based on our misconception.

I have been on both sides of this. I have been the one looking at someone thinking they could handle a fit better. More times than not, I am the mom with a upset child for a multitude of reasons they just can’t handle anymore. They are overtired, hungry, want to be held, upset at something which may seem trivial to adults but is the end of the world for them, etc. My kids are also very loud so when they are upset EVERYONE KNOWS!!!

A couple weeks ago, I had all 5 of my boys in the grocery store with me. (Something I don’t prefer to do but will when I need to) Everyone was upset about something. One brother took a toy from the other, one brother hit another, one was singing too loud, you name it they were just aggravated and loud. I am sure I looked crazy like I was trying to heard cattle.  I do try to keep them somewhat happy and calm while we are in the store but lets face it, it’s not going to be possible all the time. We had passed by this lady who was working and she came up to me and all she said was “I understand. I have 6 boys and taking them to the store is always a challenge.”  She wasn’t critical of me fussing at all my boys like an auctioneer, my boys losing control or the noise level. It was so refreshing to know that someone was looking at me and my chaos with understanding and compassion rather than judgement.

All this to say, when you see a mom who looks like she can’t “get it together” or a kid having a tantrum, have some compassion. It’s not always about a kid being a brat or a mom stressed to the max!  Show some love and kindness. I usually want to give a high five to moms when I see them in the middle of their chaos as a way of saying “I get it. I understand your frustration and heart ache. I know you are stressed and overwhelmed.” Find a way to give that mom a boost.

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