Because I said so!

Art by Charity Woods

We have all gone through the “why?” stage of mom hood. Sometimes it is arguing with a toddler, sometimes arguing with a preteen. Either way, that word is worse than sticking ice picks in my ears. Why can’t I just say, “It’s time to go clean your room!” and the answer be, “yes momma!” I don’t expect miracles but I do expect respect, and I feel like when they question everything, it means they don’t have respect for me.

This is where the line is blurred. I want them to question everything, but when it comes to owning up to responsibilities, they shouldn’t question it. Eventually they can’t ask the company why they have to pay the bill, they just know they have to in order to have power. Now I can’t take away their rooms, but the same rule applies. If an adult asks them to do something that they are not comfortable with or is out of the norm, then I expect them to ask why. But chores and scheduling is different. Clean your room, clear the table after supper, take a shower, go to bed at X:XX, All of these things shouldn’t be questioned.

I have never, nor will I ever, force my kids to do something that will hurt them. I know that there are parents out there that are sick and don’t believe that we should protect our babies, but I am not one of them. I would die for my kids. With that being said, If I ever told them to stand in the middle of the road or sit on the edge of a cliff, then by all means, question it. I think that too many people believe that kids are owed an explanation for everything that is asked of them. This is not the case, at least not in my mind. Maybe I am old fashion, but I expect my children to respect their elders, no matter where they are.

This is a huge battle right now with my oldest daughter. She comes to me in tears, “Momma, why do I have to take a shower every night?”  My response is, “Because you get dirty every day!” And then through her tears and voice cracking she says, “But WHY momma?” I tell her, “because she doesn’t live in a bubble.” “MOMMA!” she cries even louder. At this point my frustration sets in and I say, “Because I said so!” Storming off she says, “That’s not even a real answer!”

I know that the moment I say, “Because I said so” she walks away and takes that as the response, but not without protest of that answer not being adequate enough. But isn’t it? I don’t owe her an excuse for why I do what I do. I am a parent. It is not my job to just be my kids friend, but it is my job to make sure that I train them to be self sufficient one day. The last thing I want for my kids are to be lazy, dirty, slobs. Because I am working against the flow of the need for validation in today’s society, my job grows more tiresome than it needs or should be.

Let me know in the comments below if you have a problem with this need for validation in your home. Think about how our lives would be different if more parents stood up for the respect they should be teaching.

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